Let’s be real for a moment, shall we? Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It…is…so…hard.
How did our Mothers do it? How did our Grandmothers, Great-Grandmothers? The women who had to hand wash clothes, tend to crops, deliver 15 kids, raise 15 kids, see after a husband and a house? How in the world did these women survive? It baffles me.
We, with our support groups, cell phones, social media outlets, Google, and information overload get so amazingly stressed to the max at being a Mom. My theory?
Our Mothers, Grandmothers, and Great-Grandmothers had support systems. They helped one another. They witnessed their Mothers breastfeed and tend to chores. They had one another to help share the load.
Us modern women? Oh, we need no assistance. Why we can do it all on our own, thank you. Um, I call bull…
When I was pregnant, oh what a wonderful experience I was embarking upon. The delivery would hurt, but it would be manageable. The breastfeeding relationship between my son and I would be hard, but we would overcome obstacles with ease.
Um, again, I call bull… It’s like a game of Whack-A-Mole; anxiety filled anticipation. Are we going to hit or are we going to miss?
As soon as I began having contractions, my life forever changed. As soon as I looked into the alien eyes of my son who wouldn’t transition from womb to earth very easily, life was a beautiful terror. No one spoke of the pain, not really. No one mentioned the most disgusting fluids known to man would exit my body at speeds that Niagara Falls couldn’t compare to.
The underwear?? You mean the snazzy depends? That they give to women from size 0-22, that stretches to your body. The unbelievable excruciating task of simply rolling over. And forget standing up to go potty. F-E-A-R!!!!
No one mentions the days without showers, the weeks without sleep, the loneliness, tears, pure fear. No one tells you that you will be afraid of losing your newborn 259+ times a day. You do not hear of the weeks of after care for your body. No one really tells you that Post Partum Depression is so very real and what to watch for.
Then add breastfeeding into the mix. Is my child getting enough? Am I producing the right amount? Is he/she latched correctly? Is it time to feed again!? Is the poop supposed to look like mustard with seeds? Are they latching correctly? What position is the best to hold my child to get the most milk? Is my child hungry again? Comfortable? Is this gas, colic, or allergies to foods I am ingesting that is making my child scream like he/she is being abused? Can I have a beer? A glass of wine? Should I use a nipple shield? Are my nipples inverted? Do nipples invert? That mommy group says I need to look for a tongue tie or lip tie. Yep, that’s what is wrong. I do not care that 4 Pediatricians have told me my child doesn’t have one, these moms are the experts and I know we have a tie problem.
Whew! Enter ME!!! Not ashamed to ask the questions, not ashamed to share the truth. Moms, it is ever so hard. And we made it that way because we think we are supposed to do it all solo. 2-3 days in the hospital and BYE! Take care!
WHAT??
We need to be asking other moms for help. Seasoned moms need to be offering and new moms need to be accepting. We need to throw the perfect persona out the window. We need to stop being afraid our child is going to be snatched from our arms if we seek help for PPD.
So Mama, I am here. I will come to you in your raw glory. I will come hold your hand, I will talk to you on the phone, via text, whatever. I will answer your most embarrassing questions with NO judgment. I just will.
My passion is for you and your child. My passion is for you and your success. My passion is for your and your mental well-being. My passion is for you, Mama.
Join me here on Facebook. I am currently studying to become a Doula and a BF Counselor. I am NOT certified, but I can give you my personal mom experience and share quotes from my material. Let’s begin being a community of helpful women learning from one another once again so our children will know that powerful women united are more powerful than one powerful woman exhausted.
XO,
Rachel
P.S. http://www.kindredbravely.com & http://www.breastfeedingworld.org are great places also for community.
Bananas and Breastmilk 